Rated: K, Words: 1k+, Published: May 30, 2003 on FanFiction.net
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Final Fantasy IX, I don't own Kuja or Garland. 'Nuff said. ...If I owned Garland, he wouldn't hate Kuja as much, and the ending would be much different... If I owned Kuja... I'd have fun! Author's Note: I try and try, but I can't hate Garland. Being a Kuja- lover, I should, but I just can't hate an evil genius. I actually admire him. This fic could be an alternate ending, I guess, but I didn't mean for it to be. It's Garland's POV. Kuja's a little OOC, by the way... I have this wacky idea that maybe Kuja thought of Garland as something other than a master. No, it will never become Kuja/Garland, even if it seems to lead to that. That's almost scary to think about. Now, my best enemy-erm, I mean best friend-has started a songfic, and I refuse to let her defeat me! HAHAHA! Umm... On with the fic! *^_^* LeFox Rox!
I've never been a fool. I know when someone hates me to the point of wishing I was the bug they had just stepped on. And that had been the case with Kuja for as long as I could recall. Those many years ago, I had believed he knew of his limited life, for why else would he hate me so vehemently? These thoughts were proved to be false when he later discovered this fact, and destroyed the planet I had tried so hard to restore. But truly, he surprised me that day...
Even as he set the world on fire, he was thinking of me. He was thinking of me as he cast Ultima over and over again. His hatred for me gave him the strength. When he had done as much damage as he wanted to, he floated down to where my body was. Where he had kicked me to. I was still alive, but only bearly. I can remember feeling a bit of pride for the power he had... after all, I had created him. But it was the first time I had seen him in Trance, and all I honestly felt was awe. He was stronger than I was, there at the beginning.
When he arrived by my side, I thought he had come to either finish me off, or watch me die slowly at his feet. But no, he spoke to me instead. And his words weren't angry or hateful. His voice was soft, as though he thought I was dead already. "So this is how the Princess felt..." I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. He was on his knees, looking at me as if I could give him the answer to his questions. And I could guess what they would be. Why? How? What did I do wrong to deserve it...
"What do you mean... how the princess... felt?" I breathed. He looked at me, his burnt-rose eyes full of sorrow. He bit his lip like a child would, and his words trembled as a scared child's might. "When I killed her mother... I didn't know why she was so sad. Now I do..." he looked away. Ultimately, I realized what he was saying. He considered me to be a father... but I had never even thought of him as a son. Never. Not until, that is, he was gone. After he was dead, that is when I missed him.
"Kuja... I cannot think of you... as a son... not now," I finished, not sure what I had ever thought of him as, anyway. A creation? The Angel of Death? My failure? I was learning, even as I died. Even as... he died there, beside me. Though to the world, he died in the Iifa Tree... to me, he died when he was there on Terra. For it was there that I saw into his soul. Now that he knew he was to die, he had given up. If I had kept it a secret... If I hadn't wanted to get the last laugh... If I had only pretended that he had won... Then he would have lived a bit longer. He had sent those signals to his body saying "Let me die" and now he would.
"I don't need you to think of me at all, Garland. In fact, I hope no one thinks of me again." his eyes were full of tears. I had never seen him cry. Never. For a moment I saw him as a child again, the one without shame, guilt, pain... and such a trusting heart... I had betrayed that child, and I knew it. I had taken his innocence for granted. What had I thought I was doing at the time...? I had never expected him to become anything but a hindrence. Now he was a firey bird, ready to fall. He had never been what I wanted... but now... we were both dying, though he was the only one suffering. He was only twenty-four... I had lived to be almost five thousand years old. And yet, he would be the one to die unjustly. To my surprise, and appearantly his, I took his hand.
"M-master Garland...?" he stuttered, wiping a tear from his face. He was still in Trance, and the teary-eyed redhead was almost as beautiful as the silver angel I had created. That was what I had always thought of him as... a beautiful creation. An ornament. A doll... "A worthless doll" as he had put it. "Are you planning to stay here until the planet explodes?" I asked him, as though I didn't care. But I did. I wanted him safe.
"I don't want... to die... but I'm gonna die anyway," he whispered. He looked up then. The Invincible was leaving, going through the portal to Gaia. He glowed with the light reflecting from the portal. He looked back to me, wearing a half-hearted smile. "Zidane's safe," he said softly. "Kuja... I want you to go with him to Gaia. Now." I ordered. His eyes widened.
"Wh-Why?" he asked incredulously. I tried to think of a reason why he should... a reason why I could still seem like the cruel bastard I knew I was. "I need Zidane to go to Memoria... and you would lure him there. Now go." but it didn't seem very convincing. I felt life slipping away. I released Kuja's hand, and closed my eyes. I hoped he would assume I had died. Unfortunately, Kuja is no fool, either.
Within moments, I felt his kiss on my forehead. His long hair tickled my skin as he sat back up. "I... I know you love me, Garland... That's why you didn't kill me when Zidane was created. That's why you want me to go to Gaia... It has nothing to do with Zidane, does it?" his voice was softer than silk. I wanted him then... I wanted him to live forever and have his eternal kingdom. I wanted him to be my son. I wanted him to stay with me... I wanted him to leave... I wanted him dead... I wanted him alive... I wanted him to be in danger... I wanted him to be safe... I loved him. I loved him, and I had killed him. And as he lies in the Iifa Tree, dying, I will await him on the other side. I wait for you now... My son...
_ Author's Note: So...? Is it good? I expect to get at least one review from you, Aaaallyyyshaaa... so I hope you don't make me cry. From LeFox...^o^